Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
Bar Joke by Phostex Bar Joke by Phostex
So, a rabbi, a blonde, a duck, and a lawyer walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"

HA ha! Get it? Get it? No? Oh, yes, but you just don't think it's funny?

Oh, you just don't think it's good. It's a bad joke. I see. Well you can suck it.
Add a Comment:
 
:icontransformers-lover-7:
Transformers-Lover-7 Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2012  Student General Artist
An old three legged dog walks into a bar and tells the bar tender 'im lookin for the man that shot mah' paw...'
Reply
:iconcoopdawhoop:
CoopDaWhoop Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2011
so a man walks into a bar. and says OW!
Reply
:iconunclescooter:
UncleScooter Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2011  Professional Artist
Nice! I love the bartender's expression at the sight of these unlikely patrons =D
---
"Life isn’t divided into genres. It’s a horrifying, romantic, tragic, comical, science-fiction cowboy detective novel. You know, with a bit of pornography, if you're lucky."- Alan Moore
Reply
:iconbeautifullyflawed:
BeautifullyFlawed Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2009
That bartender seems distressed.
Reply
:iconphostex:
Phostex Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2009
That's because the duck keeps coming in and asking for grapes.
Reply
:iconbeautifullyflawed:
BeautifullyFlawed Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2009
He doesn't whine all that much, though.
Reply
:iconredmond17:
Redmond17 Featured By Owner May 16, 2009
Ah, metahumor. Could you please pass me the soap?
Reply
:iconphostex:
Phostex Featured By Owner May 17, 2009
Metahumor? I once met a Hugh Moore. He was surprisingly funny. Second cousin of Alan Moore. I wouldn't recommend their nephew Tu Moore. He isn't funny at all, but he has a house in Paris, on the Rue Moore. If you can trust the sources. No, Hugh was lazy as a kid. His mom was always telling him to "Do Moore!"

zing!
Reply
:iconcyberphantom:
CyberPhantom Featured By Owner May 11, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Two men walk into a bar...

You'd have thought at least one of them would have seen it!
Reply
:iconphostex:
Phostex Featured By Owner May 11, 2009
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel hanging from his belt. The bartender asks, "What's that for?" The pirate responds, "Aarrr, its driving me nuts".
Reply
:iconcyberphantom:
CyberPhantom Featured By Owner May 14, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
A tramp walks into a bar and calls the bartender over.

He says, "Look, I haven't got any money, but if I show you something amazing, will you give me a free pint?"

The bartender raises an eyebrow and replies, "Ok...but it better be impressive, or you can head straight on out."

The tramp reaches into his pocket and pulls out a hamster. He plonks it on the bar, and it looks around, whiffling its nose. Suddenly it spots a piano at the far end of the bar, and it sets of at a hamstery sprint, zipping around people's drinks - it dives off the end of the bar and onto the piano - and it begins to play.

And this hamster is really good! He's amazing in fact!

The bartender pulls the tramp a pint. When he finishes, he whistles for the hamster and it scurries back down the bar to him and jumps into his pocket. The tramp says, "If I show you something even more amazing, can I get another pint?"

The bartender says, "How can you top a piano-playing hamster?"

The tramp reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a frog. He sets it down on the bar, and the frog begins to sing! The bartender can't believe his eyes. He pulls another pint.

From further down the bar, a shady figure sidles up and says, "Here, I'll buy that frog from you for £100." The tramp agrees. Money is exchanges, and the shady figure rushes away with the frog in his fist.

"What the hell were you thinking?" cries the bartender. "That frog was worth millions!"

"Ah, but you see," says the tramp, taking a sip of his pint. "The hamster is also a ventriloquist."
Reply
:iconphostex:
Phostex Featured By Owner May 14, 2009
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a pint. He asks the bartender how much he owes him, and the bartender says, "For you, no charge."
Reply
:icontotoyasu:
TotoYasu Featured By Owner May 7, 2009  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I LOVE the bartender's face. :)
Reply
:iconrobiotic:
robiotic Featured By Owner May 7, 2009
So a guy walks in to a bar with a dog he says can talk. “Who's got the major league home run record?” says the guy. “Ruth,” the Dog barks back.
“Total phony,” says bartender. Dog looks up at him and says “Whatdaya expect me to say—DiMaggio?”
Reply
:iconphostex:
Phostex Featured By Owner May 8, 2009
A rope walks into a bar and the bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here!" Another rope outside out side sees this, so he tussles up his ends and ties himself up in a knot and goes in the bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve ropes. ARe you a rope?"
And the rope says, "No, I'm a frayed knot."

Shakazoom!
Reply
:iconchynadolly:
ChynaDolly Featured By Owner May 7, 2009
Haha :)

Great picture too :)
Reply
:iconphostex:
Phostex Featured By Owner May 7, 2009
A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer," he says.
The bartender promptly serves up a beer.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
"For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge."
Reply
:iconchynadolly:
ChynaDolly Featured By Owner May 8, 2009
Hahaha! :D
Reply
:icontheeviltwin:
theEvilTwin Featured By Owner May 7, 2009
guy walks into a bar with a duck on his head. the duck then says 'hey, can you get this guy of my ass?'

fantastic illustration, man.....!
Reply
:iconphostex:
Phostex Featured By Owner May 7, 2009
A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, we got a drink named after you."
And the grasshopper says, "You got a drink named Steve?"
Reply
:icontheeviltwin:
theEvilTwin Featured By Owner May 7, 2009
ha ha ha!
right on man... ;)
Reply
:iconphostex:
Phostex Featured By Owner May 7, 2009
A golf club walks into a local bar and asks the bartender for a pint of beer.
The bartender refuses to serve him. "Why not?" asks the golf club.
"You'll be driving later," replies the bartender.
Reply
:icontheeviltwin:
theEvilTwin Featured By Owner May 8, 2009
:D
i needed that...!
thanks, man
Reply
:iconrobiotic:
robiotic Featured By Owner May 7, 2009
Fuckin love it XD
Reply
:iconphostex:
Phostex Featured By Owner May 7, 2009
A duck walks into a bar and asks, "Ya got any grapes?"
The bartender says, "No, get out of here!"
The next day, the duck comes in and asks, "Got any grapes?"
And the bartender kicks him out again.
The next day, the duck walks in, and before he can speak, the bartender says, "If you ask for grapes again, I'm going to nail you to the wall!"
The next day, the duck comes in and asks, "got any nails?"
The bartender says "No."
And the duck asks, "Got any grapes?"
Reply
:iconmtn-man:
Mtn-Man Featured By Owner May 6, 2009  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Your artist comment MAKES it funny. Its well illustrated as well too.
Reply
:iconmiss-burn-ward:
Miss-Burn-Ward Featured By Owner May 6, 2009  Student General Artist
Ha! Fucking AMAZING!!


:iconmonkeyloveplz:
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×
Download JPG 1305 × 858




Details

Submitted on
May 6, 2009
Image Size
1.0 MB
Resolution
1305×858
Link
Thumb
Embed

Stats

Views
2,424
Favourites
46 (who?)
Comments
27
Downloads
70
×